Monarch of the Glen: A Murder Mystery
by TheBoglies
Summary: Things go bump in the night...Check out the ramblings of the BBCAmerica Discussion Board Fans...Each part was a contribution from different boglies. Great Fun!


. . . It was a dark and stormy night. The gale winds moaned. The wolves howled at the full moon, but the moon only remained silent to their cries. The loch sent shivers of little waves along its surface, touching everything with creepy, watery fingers. Even the walls of Glenbogle House felt the strange premonitions of this night. It is almost as if Glenbogle itself knew that some unknown terror was lurking. Suddenly, a low creaking sound was heard. But who would be about on a night like this? And who would be awake to hear this ominous sound?  
  
. . . Suddenly, a moving shadow could be seen . . . making its silent path toward the entrance to the kitchen. The sound of the wind was quite loud, but yet a moan slowly became audible. The source of the moaning soon became apparent as the storm clouds slid across the path of the moon. . . and there in the courtyard lay Duncan. His body was limp, but his hand was pointing toward the pantry door. "Stop," he gasped. "Archie, Laird, help me!"  
  
The shadow near the door moved . . . and the door silently opened and closed on Duncan's body. As the shadow slipped through the door, the moon was once more obscured by the storm clouds. Outside, in the courtyard, Duncan lay unmoving in the rain.  
  
The shadow sailed quickly through the kitchen. The ease of movement revealing an old familiarity with the room. At the doorway to hall, it stopped, listening to the ticks and creaks. A soft laugh issued from the shadow, then died quickly, as voices could be heard on the upstairs landing.  
  
"Archie, not now! Dinnae you hear something?" Lexie anxiously whispered to her groggy husband.  
  
Lex, it just the storm."  
  
"No, Arch, I tell you there's something wrong. I feel it in my bones."  
  
"Not another ghost? Come on, Lex, let's go back to bed."  
  
Lexie gave Archie a disgusted look. Just then there was a crash from a room down the hall.  
  
"What was that?" asked Lexie with her hand over her heart.  
  
The shadow stopped because it no longer had the protection of darkness. Moonlight was now filtering through the slats in the window shutters and illuminating the shadow form. It was . . .It was . . . Lizzie. She had heard of her brother's marriage to Lexie, but no one had bothered to send her an invitation. No amount of Molly's concern could console her. Lizzie was ticked off. Archie got everything. Archie was everything. The estate. The Laird. Happiness with Lexie. The father of her child wouldn't marry her and hired a lawyer to take the child with him. She was helpless. But not anymore. She would take action and be the mistress of her own fate!  
  
She hitched a ride from one of Kilwillie's workers halfway to the house, where she chose to walk the rest of the way. The night being stormy didn't deter her at all. She wore one of the robes that belonged to Gerald...she looked like an authentic guruette. Very real. Especially in the moonlight and the storm.  
  
Lizzie hadn't expected to run into anyone. . . that foolish Duncan was in the courtyard . . . yes, out in the storm in the middle of the night! . . . practicing his throw, in case his Auntie Liz would get him another one of those talisman stones. Around and around he was spinning, like a crazed whirling dervish . . . whoosh! Right into Lizzie! Only the despondent and twisted sister took that movement as an attack and responded with a karate chop to the throat. . . Duncan's one vulnerable spot . . . his Achille's heel, so to speak. Gasping for breath, Duncan collapsed on the ground calling on Archie for help.  
  
Lizzie turned and laughed . . . making a cold, hollow sound. . . turned and slipped into the kitchen pantry.  
  
By now, Archie was out of bed and looking for his slippers. Lexie was already running down the hall and stairway . . . and just as her hand reached for the light switch in the kitchen, . . .  
  
Lexie clicked the switch and gasped when she saw Lizzie's maniacal face emerging from the pantry.."D-Did I hear Duncan?" yelled Lexi? "Maybe you did and maybe you didn't" laughed Lizzie.Again from outside, Duncan cried "Archie..Archie..." At that moment Lexi pushed by her sister-in-law and flew through the door to kneal at Duncan's side. Archie gave up on the slippers upstairs and tore down the stairway and into the kitchen. He was running so fast that he thudded into the large center Island, flew forward and hit his chin hard. He looked up and saw his sister standing in front of the refrigerator downing a quart of milk. She startled at the noise her brother made and loudly yelled "God, Archie, you scared me to death" "Lizzie, shut-up" you'll wake up Mother." Did I hear Duncan?" asked Archie.."Oh,him, he'll be allright...but I won't! Archie had never seen his sister this way and he feared what he would find outside. Suddenly, he realized they were all in danger and he ran at Lizzie from across the room.... "What have you done?" asked Archie as he held his sister tightly by the arms. "Get your hands off me! How dare you!" Exclaimed Lizzy as she pushed Archie off her kicking and screaming. "ARCHIE!!!" screamed Lexie from outside "ARCHIE - Hurry!!". Archie ran out to see what was going on.... . . the only sound that could be heard was a low, gurgling sound coming from Duncan. Lexie wasn't about to let her best mate go like this. . . she ran to his side and propped her head on her ample bosom (do you like that part Dan?). He moaned, he gurled, he sputtered. . . but when Duncan realized where his head was and on what, he opened his eyes and said "Hi, Lexi!" "Oh, I'm so comfortable. Don't move." "DunCAN!!! Cut that out! I'm married!" yelled, Lexie. But then she instantly mellowed when she saw the color starting to return to Duncan's face. Yes, the little moonlight there was showed that. Lexie tried to get Duncan on his feet. . . there was no one else to help because in the kitchen, Archie was engrossed in a life & death battle with Lizzie. It seems that Lizzie, unawares of having a lactose intolerance, was now in the throes of gripping pains of nausea from drinking all that milk!!! "Aha!" exclaimed Archie! "When you're through vomiting, Lizzie, I'm going to tie you up!"  
  
But these things had to wait, for Molly and Andrew were awakened by the noise. . . and while running to see what was happening, stumbled over a lifeless form in the darkened stairway.  
  
"Oh, my God!" cried Molly. . . As Andrew reached for the flashlight he had pocketed in his jam-jams, and shone the light on the form, they could not believe their eyes. It was poor little useless. In all her anger, Lizzie wanted to hit the family, and thought Useless would be a good start, as he was the bond with Hector. Molly clutched her throat in disbelief. "Useless," she cried! "NO, no, no! It shouldn't be this way!" Andrew was trying to console Molly but then thought he should be examining Useless' little body. He carefully felt along the ribs, his gentle sculptor's hands checked Useless's head, eyes, and mouth.  
  
Andrew suddenly felt a light touch on his face which was very close to Useless's body. "Darn Midgies," he thought. But then he felt it again . . . this time he SAW the movement! It was Useless's little tail . . . ever so slightly trying to wag in recognition. There it was again! "Molly, Molly my dear girl, don't despair!" exclaimed Andrew. "Look Molly, look!!!"  
  
"what is it?", Molly said. "Useless is alive!" Andrew shouted with a smile on his face. While taking the dog on her lap, Molly looked at Lizzie and said: "How could you have tried to take Useless? You're my daughter, how could you have done this?" Archie had run upstairs along with Lizzie to where Molly and Andrew were with Useless. Archie handed Lizzie a cloth to wipe her face from her nausea. "I'll get you for this," she whispered in a meanacing voice.  
  
"Mother, I didn't harm Useless!" Lizzie exclaimed to Molly. But Molly was having none of it. As Andrew helped his beloved up, Molly gave her daughter a frozen stare. . . coldness entered her heart for her only daughter.  
  
At the same moment, Lexie was struggling with Duncan down in the courtyard. The young man was revived from Lizzie's knockout punch to the throat and he was trying to get his footing once more. But remembering how lovely it was to be nestled against Lexie's bosom, he batted his eyes at her and made sure his dimples dimpled enough to be cute . . . he gave Lexie that look. "Ma wee man! Enough!" said Lexie and dismissed him with a smack. "I think we may be needed inside. Where is ma Ar-chey!"  
  
Andrew had now picked up Useless's little form and gently carried it into the kitchen. Archie spread newspapers on the island so the wee dog could be made comfortable. Everyone had gathered around and were busy watching Useless. Everyone was accounted for . . . Lizzie was by now tied up, thanks to her brother Archie. Molly was still throwing dagger looks at her daughter. Lexie had helped the struggling Duncan into the kitchen. Everyone was there . . . one would think.  
  
But no one was watching the door and no one heard the footsteps. . . . until . . . .  
  
It was too late. Out of the darkness leapt a lean figure. He had brown, curly hair and a wiry, strong body. In his hand he brandished a shiny steel blade, which he now held poised at the throat of the family's captive....  
  
"Fergal," cried Archie, "What do you think your're doing?" So flinty and desperate was the look in the assailant's eyes that Archie asked this half expecting a verbal reply, and half expecting one delivered by a pulling of the blade across his sister's throat.  
  
"What am I doing here?" the madman sneered. "I'm here to bring some pain into your life. The kind of pain you brought to me. I loved Katrina and you stole her from me. Everyday the image of her face haunts my mind. Every night I long to feel her warm body next to mine. I ache for her caress. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE TOTALY ALONE IN THIS WORLD? TO BE WITHOUT THE ONE YOU LOVE? YOU DID THIS TO ME...." He continue in a barely audible whisper, "and now it's your turn to feel the loss I live with every day."  
  
At this Fergal moved the knife away from Lizzie's throat, severed the ropes which bound her, slipped a knife into her hand and asked, "How about it, my Love, are you ready to do what we came here for?"  
  
Lizzie rose from her chair, kissed Fergal gently on the lips, then looked coldly at Lexie and hissed, "Yes my dearest man. Let's be done with this"  
  
in Walked Golly...."wha is goin on in here?" "I planned to bring my new friend to the house tomorrow but I heard all o' this goings on and thought we'd better get up here..Wha ever is your girl doin on the floor, Molly?" "This by the way is Flora McLean..sorry Florrie" "Duncan,get up..what is the matter with U?" "Ah, Golly, I've ha' a big upset..that one, she hit me!" "Archie, lad..what can I du?" said the ghillie. Just then lovely,red- headed Flora ran out the door..."I'm ta go home now, Gol"..as she left she addressed Lizzie, still tied up, "I told U!!"..Every eye turned toward Flora in her tight black dress.."She's no one for a row" said Golly as he ran out after his girlfriend...Molly's eyebrown lifted discernably as she turned back to the others.."Who is she?" At that Lizzie shouted angrily: "She came with me to see Golly, Kilwillie's man dropped her off down there" "Now, untie me, right Now!!" It seems that Fergal and Lizzie had made a diabolical pact to kill off Archie . . . their minds twisted with rage at Archie for ruining their lives plotted this evil deed. But planning is one thing, and the carrying out of the plan is another.  
  
A third party was needed. Flora McClean was new to Glenbogle; she arrived in the area a little over a month ago. She had been seen around the town but no one knew much about her. One night, Golly had wandered into the Ghillie's Rest and spotted the vivacious Flora. . . her red hair was like a beacon to a moth . . . and Golly was gobsmacked. They began meeting for a drink regularly; Golly thought he was getting to know her, but there was something in her personality that put up a wall and would let no one in. Golly thought about how he could break down her resistance to closeness . . . he thought, "I'll take her salmon fishin' . . .no lass can resist that!" As one thing led to another, Golly was right. The salmon fishing broke the ice, so to speak, with Flora. Her heart was so melted by standing in her waders in the ice cold waters of the stream with Golly by her side, guiding her through the motions of fishing, that she let down her guard. They kissed. (Editor's Note: what happened next is being left to your imaginations . . . this is a family board and no details will be given here. . . end of Editor's Note).  
  
So! Flora became Florrie, Golly's lass. Soon the two of them became a fixture around Glenbogle . . . she, flaming hair flying in the breeze, on the back of his Harley. And he, our Mountain Main Golly, totally besotted with her.  
  
However, Flora was deeper than salmon fishing and bike riding. She had come to Glenbogle for a purpose. She meant Lizzie on the sleeper to the Highlands, Flora having gotten on at Penrith, while Lizzie had been on since London. Lizzie immediately sized up the redheaded lass and figured she could use her for her own purposes. Lizzie offered Flora a promise of a lot of money if she would help her. Flora liked Lizzie; thought she was an okay chicklass and signed on.  
  
Only Flora had no idea it would involve a dastardly plot of fratricide. . . in Lizzie's wanting to kill her brother, Flora was drawn into something for which she was totally unprepared.  
  
Meanwhile, although Golly's eyesight had been helped by the doctors, and occasionally he would give in to wearing eyeglasses, his heart did not have the 20-20 accuity it needed to see Flora for what she was. An opportunist. Shudder. The WORST kind of babe. So on this momentous evening in the lives of our principle characters, the over-the-top-in-love Golly took Flora to the scene. What he hadn't realized was her extreme reluctance to go up there this evening. Golly had been taken in, hook, line, and sinker. . . to borrow one of his favorite sayings. And Flora, poor little opportunist, had been taken in by Lizzie's visciousness and had no idea of the pledge between Fergal and Lizzie to murder Archie.  
  
But as the American author John Steinbeck was oft to say, "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry." And that brings us back to the evening in question. It is still stormy. Molly's heart is glaciarly cold toward her daughter. Useless is wagging his tail, but can barely lift his precious head. Duncan longs to be knocked out again so he can rest his head against Lexie's bosom. Andrew is still consoling Molly. And Archie & Lexie are still in a standoff with Fergal...who as we may remember, is still menancing everyone with his knife. Lizzie's ropes have been untied. Lizzie says, "pay no mind to that redhead! She's no use to me now!"  
  
Fergal wipes the drool from the corner of his mouth. Being so tall and all, he looked out over everyone else in the room lit only by the moonlight, and said, " Lizzie, grab . . . .  
  
"Lizzie, grab the rope over there, while I get Archie" snarled Fergal. "Let's do what we came to do!"  
  
Now where was Archie? Suddenly everyone looked around, but His Gorgeousness was nowhere to be seen! Lizzie snorted, "Hah, just like the little pet . . . disappear when I want him!" Unbeknowest to all, Archie had slipped out, taking advantage of the still darkness. He wanted to see where Flora would go. Instead Archie felt a strong hand on his neck . . . "Where do you think you're going, Laddie?" asked Golly. "You best not be thinking of going after my lassie."  
  
Archie gulped. He knew of all the people in the world, he couldn't outfox the Mountain Fox himself, Golly. Archie managed to find the words and say . . . Archie said, "Golly, you have to let go of my neck because I'm running for my life! Lizzie & Fergal want to kill me!" "Oh, sorry Boss, I didn't realize!" said Golly, "I just thought you wanted to add another gal onto your list of conquests." "No way," Archie said in a hurt voice..."how could you possibly think that? I love Lexie with all my heart."  
  
Lexie, Molly, Andrew, and Duncan, who was now carrying Useless all came tumbling out of the house at the same time. They were scrambling over each other to see who could get out of the door first. You could see by the look on their faces that something really bad was happening.  
  
Inside the Glenbogle kitchen, Fergal had turned on Lizzie. In his zeal to get Lizzie to realize they had to focus on where Archie was, he grabbed her a little too tightly around her neck. She screamed with pain, but that only made it worse. Lizzie, in the throes of extreme suffering, collapsed on the floor. Fergal couldn't believe what had happened. They were here to kill Archie, but instead Lizzie is dead.  
  
Suddenly, Katrina runs into the house screaming, "I've returned! I've returned! I've learned my lesson! I've loved so many men and nothing worked out for me! I've won jobs and lost jobs and nothing has worked for me! Nothing has come of my life; I'm soooooo alone!"  
  
(Editor's note: Yes, Katrina was saying all this as she had run in from the front entrance hall, and continued running throughout the house.)  
  
Katrina is running in and out of the different rooms looking for anyone to listen to her pleas! Suddenly, Katrina lands in the kitchen with the words dying on her lips . . . "I've loved so many men, but nothing has worked...." with the words dying on her lips as she saw Fergal, wracked with guilt, about to plunge the dagger into his chest. "Fergal!" Katrina cried, "you're one of the men I thought I'd loved! You'll do! Marry me, please! I can't stay alone all my life!"  
  
Fergal puts the knife down. . . wipes some more drool from his lips . . . and with glazed over eyes, he recognizes Goldilocks. "Katrina," he sputters, "it's you!" Fergal collapses in Katrina's waiting arms.  
  
Outside, Lexie grabs Archie's arm and leads him back into the house . . ."We'll face whatever outcome together, Arch." Molly and Andrew stay outside trying to do mouth to mouth on Useless. Duncan grabs the nearest sword and swears in his utmost Pic voice to stand by Archie and the Clan! Golly is having none of it . . . having fought so many battles and still a little ticked off by Archie's hiring of Fergal all that time ago! He leaves, going to look for FloraLass.  
  
Kilwillie shows up in his Mercedes SUV and cries, "What, ho!" "I've brought you all a case of my Kilwillie Single Malt Marmalade & Chutney. I couldn't sleep and thought that Lexie could whip up some tea and toast for us. Badger is away visiting his mother." When someone else was was getting out of his car, Kilwillie added, "Oh, I forgot to mention that the Reverend was my houseguest and I brought her along. Let's all go inside and see what is going on!"  
  
Okay. . . now here is where you all have to suspend belief (as if you haven't done that already!) . . .  
  
Fergal and Katrina are in each other's arms sobbing and crying and wiping tears from the other's face. . . .saying, "Don't cry, I love you!" Not one to miss a beat, Kilwillie does a quick tango around the room, kind of like a Highland flourish to it, and says, "Enough of this! Reverend, marry these two and put them out of their misery!"  
  
So the Reverend joined together the hands of Fergal and Katrina and they were promptly married. Katrina was ecstatic because she finally got to have a Glenbogle wedding! Andrew offered them the use of his cottage for a honeymoon. Molly stepped over Lizzie's body to offer her hand in congratulations. Useless, who had now fully recovered, did a little wee on Archie's leg. But Archie, being the wonderful Laird he is, just brushed it off knowing his lady, his lovely Lexie knew how to remove stains.  
  
Duncan put down his sword and looked around. He scratched his head and said, "Everyone's gone looney on me. I'm going ta bed."  
  
THE END STORY WRITTEN BY: AGIRAGIRL, AILEANMCG, GLENBOGGLEGIRL, GLENBOGLE, FELSENHERR, LADYROSEBLADE, THEPATRIOT - FREQUENT POSTERS OF THE BBCAMERICA DISCUSSION BOARD 


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